Please lock me in a closet

The topic of PMS'ing is probably going to come up every month.

This morning my husband asked if I was PMS'ing. Since him asking me that didn't drive me completely ape shit, I'm going to guess, no I'm not. I checked my calendar and the world should still be safe for at least 4 more days.

Word of advice to men though, if you really, really think your wife is, just assume and don't ask. Asking is going to set you up for a session of screaming, yelling,  and name calling.

Ladies, do you have extreme cases? I feel like I do. Only over the passed few years. I'd love to hear some natural ways to tame the beast within if anyone has anything to share.

On a different topic, I set a new personal record at the gym. I ran 1 mile in 12 minutes and 32 seconds. Yes it was on the treadmill but I'm proud of my little legs and heart too. I'm really hoping to hit the pavement in the spring and aim to do some sort of 5k to start and aim for a 10k. Goals! I have them!!

A lazy weekend gives time to reflect

I really enjoy having them as they are usually few and far between. We've almost always got something on the go.

Winter adds to the chaos. Getting the kids bundled up only to be uncomfortable in their winter gear. A hat is not on properly. Someone lost a mitt. Someone kicked off a boot and now their foot is cold. I'm sure as you're reading this, you're chuckling because you go through the exact same thing. My husband often asks how I don't totally lose it. I wonder the same thing sometimes, lol.

That's a picture of our son Emmett. He's 2.5. Can you guess what we're going through right now? Terrible two's! I wasn't expecting it. My daughter didn't really go through it. Maybe some issues at age 3, but nothing like Mr. ICANUSETHATSHARPKNIFEMYSELF.

His need for independence is rather quite annoying. It borders on major safety issues with a hand and a watchful eye always on him. He is insistent on making his own toast. From taking it out of the package, to putting it in the toaster and pushing it down, then to buttering/peanut buttering and even cutting it himself. The part that I think annoys me the most though, is the time it takes him. For some reason I'm always on fast forward and just want to get simple tasks done in the shortest period of time ever. I know, I know, that's my issue that I need to deal with. Really I should be embracing his independence right? I'm sure there's going to be a time in the next 7-9 years that I'm going to be summoned to bring the hungry beast his dinner at his command.

I'm done with the terrible two's though.

He goes to pre-school 3 times a week and absolutely loves it. He's got a couple of friends that he talks about a lot. Mostly an adorable little girl named Ava. I love to see the interaction that they have when I sneak in to pick him up a bit early.

This is my baby girl Kaylee. She's 7 and sassy to no end.

She's an angry and demanding little girl. Why's she so angry? She's got a pretty amazing life. She's fed, clothed, loved and has most things she's asked for. I would suspect her anger probably comes from her father and I no longer being together. I know she loves us both very much and somewhere in her head would love us to be together.

Her father and I together just didn't make sense, but I can say that we are very very good friends and don't have the usual drama that comes with co-parenting. We were good friends when we were together, but I don't think any real love was there beyond the love you have for a friend. I think that's ok. We've grown up over the years. Kaylee was 2.5 when we split up and I'm sure she doesn't remember much, but I'm sure there's still some impact.

Kaylee is in grade 2 right now and has a few struggles. I'm assuming its her very late birthday. Her birthday is right before Christmas so any child that was born in January almost is an entire year older than her. Her stubbornness doesn't help much either.  I can't for the life of me figure out where she gets that from (/sarcasm).

This weekend is her weekend at her dads, so I just spent my weekend with Emmett mostly as my husband was off for some karate seminars. I miss weekends with just Kaylee and I. I think a girls day/night out is in order. The few that we've managed to squeeze in were always fun and I could tell she was really appreciative of time with just me. Something she very much deserves and me too. She's not going to be little much longer.

Kaylee will be getting home from her fathers very shortly and then begins the fights over who hit who, who gets to watch what on the TV, etc.

I wouldn't trade my chaotic life for anything. I complain yes, but my family, they keep me alive, and well, even if they drive me nuts.

Emotions - Primary vs. Secondary

A few months ago, my husband and I caught the tail end of something on TV. I can't even remember for the life of me, what it was. If it was a "Dateline" type show or a documentary. It was touching on Primary and Secondary emotions and it was very intriguing.

One that really struck out was Anger. Anger is a secondary emotion to a few primary ones such as hurt, humiliation and frustration.

Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. A primary feeling is what is what is felt immediately before we feel anger. We almost always feel something else first before we get angry.

We might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured. If any of these feelings are intense enough, we think of the emotion as anger.

As the drawing below illustrates, anger is like an iceberg in that only some of the emotions are visible. The other emotions exist "below the water line" where they are not immediately obvious to outside observers.

The hard part about being angry is the ability to control your actions. At least with me and I think, the majority  of the world. When we lash out, we're trying to make a point about how hurt we might be, or how you were humiliated.  Instead I think there needs to be a great focus put on the PRIMARY emotion. If you've hurt me, I need to let you know that you've hurt me and deal with it immediately before it turns into anger and with most people, there's not much time. 

I think there's many reason why we avoid addressing the primary emotion. Too embarrassed to tell someone they hurt you? I know for me, I'm sometimes too embarrassed to address my negative primary emotions as I think it makes me feel vulnerable. I'm a mama bear and when I feel like I've allowed someone to impact me negatively, I feel powerless. Not something I like to feel. Again, another thing to focus on my 2013 body, mind and soul transformation.  I have to let people know immediately that I've been hurt by them. Many times it may be a total misunderstanding, or not their intention in the first place. Or maybe I'm just hurt and really its superficial, and in that case, I need to keep my big mouth shut. 

So this year, things to keep in mind. Life is too short to live with hatred, anger and the primary emotion HURT. Deal with these things. Don't let them fester. Forgive those who have hurt you, apologize to those you've hurt. 

Some links on this topic for further reading:

http://www.creducation.org/resources/anger_management/anger__a_secondary_emotion.html

http://www.choosing-life-my-way.com/list-of-emotions.html

http://www.holisticdrugrehab.org/news/techniques-for-anger-management/

http://www.karunaweb.com/what-is-anger-a-secondary-emotion/

I work at home....

and I have for a while now. This is the first time I've blogged about working at home so bare with me. I don't want this to be a shameless self promotion and beg you to buy the products that I sell. That's not what this is about.

Just want to share my story on how I got into it, how it's worked for me and the struggles that I've had working from home. These entries will be few and far between unless I have some huge announcements.

In July of 2011, I kept seeing this crazy before and after pictures of woman's stomachs coming through my Facebook news feed. A friend was selling this product. I messaged her and she gave me the details. The cost to join at the time was way below retail so I figured, why not. I had ZERO experience in network marketing. So yes, I joined the company before even trying the products.

My product arrived and I excitedly tried it out. Was I impressed? Did I believe it? I was beyond impressed. My results were impressive and sparked interest among my friends and family. And so the journey began. It was hard not knowing what to do business wise and not being confident enough to lead my team like they should be lead. This is something I still struggle with.

Months went on, our team grew and my best friend and I got to be a part of a "secret" launch for a new product. It was for our protein shake. We had to follow a program and use the products and it worked! I was actually able to get down to a weight that I hadn't seen since high school.

But guess what. When I looked in the mirror, I still seen that short fat woman. It was like I couldn't see how far I'd come. And so began the self doubt, no more exercising and the many bags of chips and dip. I undid it all and gained it all back.

So now here we are in 2013. Back to square one as always. I'm back on track and using my products again along with better nutrition and exercise. My focus now has to be on my mind set. Changing my way of thinking. Having a cheat meal is not the end or the deserving of spiraling out of food control. This now has to be a TOTAL transformation. Diet and exercise is only a small part of it. The rest is all mind.

Now I'm sure there's some people that have tried our Ultimate Body Applicator and claim it never worked for them. I can assure it work for everyone, but too many people are expecting the wrong results from it. The "wrap" is NOT A WEIGHT LOSS PRODUCT. It's a skin care product and either people are assuming others are losing weight based on before and after photo's or they may have been misinformed. As with any skin care product, people see results at different rates. What takes one person, one applicator to see results, can take another person 5 applicators. One major issues that can come into play is proper health. Everyone is expecting instant results, but lets be honest, there's not magic pill, wrap or workout. We just offer products to help you get there. Again, only half the battle. The rest depends on you.

Being a work at home mom has its many perks. It allows me to stay home with my kids and make extra money. April of last year, I became a Diamond Distributor and with that came a nice pay cheque. But, it was hard work.  Working around a toddler is tough. Trying to schedule meetings and phone calls around naps. Stressing about appointments. All worth it though!

Our company just made some major announcements making it easier for everyone to become a distributor and succeed, but you do have to put in the time. Also a new product to be launched in February which I'm sure will be a new favourite in our house.


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Obsessive

For me, when it comes to diet/exercise or the lack of either, I can become obsessive. I can either eat, breath and live health or the complete opposite and binge and sit on the couch. I can't find a happy place in the middle.

I'm trying not to be that obsessive dieter/exerciser, but as each day moves on, it's happening. I wanted to change that in myself this year, but I'm struggling. I want to just make it a part of every day life for me. Right now I'm focusing so much on calories in and calories out. OBSESSING. I feel if I don't obsess about it, I will screw it all up, and then obsess about that bag of chips and container of dip.

I have to change my mind set. Having the odd indulgence doesn't undo everything you've accomplished. But when I do indulge, I tend to just throw in the towel.

Last week and this have been going well. Cardio is great. I've been doing at least 60 minutes a day when I'm at the gym. I also use a heart rate monitor so that I can obsess even more about my calories burned because we all know the number on the machine is NEVER accurate. My heart rate monitor might not be 100% accurate either but I'm faithful it's at least taking into consideration, my gender, my age and what my actual heart rate is.

One of the areas that I failed in, in previous weight loss attempts (not failed in the sense of not losing, I was losing, but couldn't keep it off) was to eat more when I worked out. I was so focused on having a HUGE calorie deficit. So I was starving and the weight would come off fast. This is changing for me now. I'm eating a bit more when I work out so that it comes off slowly.

So my journey continues.

Off topic, but it is FREEZING here in Ontario, Canada!

Meditation - Can you clear your mind?

Do you do it? I know it has its MANY benefits, but I struggle just sitting and trying to clear my mind. It's always, I need to do this, I need to do that.  Maybe with my total transformation that I'm going for this year, my better planning of days and being prepared will help give me that time that I need to just relax. Planning just seems like its the answer to everything! 

No, we’re not talking about your face, but your life. You’re cleaning and organizing your house and making better food choices, but what daily steps can you take to keep your mind clear and your spirits light? To stay focused on these and other important tasks, you need a clear mind. 

There’s no better way of clearing your mind than sitting quietly, focusing on your breathing, and mentally relaxing. If you’re thinking this sounds a lot like meditation, you’re right. Meditation doesn’t need to be a “spiritual” experience that requires incense or chanting. It’s about quietly focusing and clearing your head so you can better take on your day and your life! 

Now that you’re more focused on your daily tasks, lighten your mental burden by getting them accomplished. Cleaning out that excess clutter in your house felt good, right? Well, one of the biggest distractions is a buildup of unfinished tasks, whether they are at home or at work. Not only do they need to get done, but they weigh you down more and more. When something comes your way that you need to get done or want to accomplish, don’t wait until “someday”; get it done now, and you’ll never be weighed down again!

Sometimes there are things cluttering your mind that you have no control over. These may be hurtful memories from your past or worries about the future. Either way, you need to let go of these burdensome thoughts and feelings and move on. This may be easier said than done, but holding on to anger, regret, and anxiety will only eat you alive. Dwell on what you can accomplish and change in your life, and release what you cannot. Give your mind an extra boost of focus and concentration by starting your day with Confianza^™. Its natural, rejuvenating adaptogens will help you combat stress and fatigue and boost your energy. Your mind will thank you! 

More great tips HERE

Don't open your door to anyone you don't know.

I made this mistake once. Looking back, it could have been deadly.

About 10 years ago, I was living with my ex and a roommate. My roommate and I were watching TV when we heard the door bell ring. I got up and answer the door. A guy in a panic said "My girlfriend was just in an accident, can I use your phone." Oh my goodness, I must help this person. I said "sure please come in".

Once inside, his demeanor changed in an instant and my heart sank. Panic set in. He began to look around. "So you guys live here?". He used the phone and my roommate and I were beyond uncomfortable. This "guy" asked if we had any money he could use for a cab to a neighboring city. We said no and asked him to leave. And he did.

Or did he? I heard him still on our front porch. He knocked on the door again. I ran upstairs to wake up my very large boyfriend. Just as he was coming down the stairs, this guy was back in our house again but fled once he seen who was coming.

This situation could have been a disaster. My gut feeling didn't kick in soon enough. My nurturing side did. Is that why woman are easy targets? That situation has taught me a lot. So many things that I could have done. Talked to him through the door. Offered to call someone for him.

This now brings us to yesterday. We held our first woman's self defense seminar. We started with that story, so that people could see just how bad it could have become. Yesterday was the first of two classes. We focused on a lot of awareness and what to do in certain types of attacks. Next week we'll continue with the other attacks.

The seminar is in no way designed to save a life, but create an awareness about getting yourself in situations that could be avoided, but also how to defend yourself if needed. Nothing is fool proof, but some knowledge is better than none.

And I just woke up to an email from someone that was at the seminar. She wrote:

"Your class today was beyond excellent - my husband doesn't like it so much lol, I shared your wife's story with everyone - and shared the information with my son about strangers. Definitely learned alot today."

So some basic tips:

• Don't open your door to anyone you don't know.
• Install and use a security chain. But remember, these break easily if the door is hit hard. So, always put the ball of foot on the edge of door when you do open it.
• For women, don't let an unknown person at the door know you are home alone. Say you can't open the door because your father is taking a nap, etc.
• If in doubt, call the police.
• Never allow a stranger to use your phone
• Keep all entrances to your home well-lit at night. And, keep foliage down around these areas so entrance points are clearly visible from the street or nearby homes.   

Very excited for the second part of the course next week!
Dynasty Martial Arts

 

New Year, New Life

Oh Tony how I love you. 

January 15th, the day that you've probably already failed at your resolution. I wonder if this is subconsciously why I took so long to even start what I needed to start?  Either way, I'm getting your message. Loud and clear.

I'm raising my standards this year. I will get my musts.

I'm going strong now and will continue to truck along. I have a plan. I have support. I'm doing great!

Negativity feeds negativity.

Honestly. You can't feed happiness negative thoughts without it turning negative. Am I right? Or are you completely confused.

This is the year of self improvement. 

Late last year, we made a business decision. It was a decision that had been weighing on us for a very long time. But in business, there's a loyalty factor that can come into play. It really kills your soul to be loyal to negativity.  This "thing" breads negative thoughts. Thoughts that must be adopted. Like who you are told to like. Opinions you are told to have. Vote this way or else. Friends must be approved or harassment ensues.

It's sad really. Greed and ego can change people in the WORST way ever. I'm a good person, but I absolutely hate that we "adopted" these negative ideas and thoughts, because we thought we had to. We felt stuck. 

We are free now, and it is truly amazing how wonderful our souls feel. The doors that are opening because of the positive thoughts and people that we have in our lives is amazing. Not only will we survive, we're flourishing in so many ways. New adventures on the horizon. 

We are the power. Positively! 

One day at a time?

What a crock.

I get that some things should be taken one day at a time, but when it comes to diet and exercise for a yoyo dieter  like myself, plans must be made. One day at time just sets you up for disaster.

Yesterday I set a small plan in motion. And I survived. By survived I mean, I battled my late night munching. Yesterday was a bit of a busy day. Starting at 3, it's go time. It starts with having to get my daughter from school, then immediately going and getting my son from preschool. Once home it's snack time and then my husband arrives home minutes later. He must shower and then leave again right away for his night of karate. Then I have to feed the kids supper, pack them up, drop my son off at my parents and take my daughter to karate. After karate I have to grab my son again and then finally head home. It's then that I got to eat my supper. It was late yes, but I think it made a great difference. I had a few healthy snacks to get me through that time of running around. Small plans, produce huge results.

So since I didn't wake up with complete guilt this morning for snacking out before bed, I'm hitting the gym today. I have to take Kayl to school for 9am and then Em and I are off to sweat. Em won't be sweating, but he's really been missing the fun he has going there and asks almost every morning.

Self Defense

A local newspaper caught wind of some free woman's self defense seminars that we're holding and they wrote an article.  The article was published yesterday around 9pm. We've received about 50 emails and 50 phone calls today inquiring about being put on a waiting list. This is exciting. A great opportunity to help others.

The seminar is mostly going to teach about awareness, surroundings and lastly physical defense. With proper awareness and guidance, people can easily recognize dangers. Even though we run 2 karate schools, this isn't a karate seminar.

I'm very proud of my husband and his HUGE heart.

7 Cardinal Rules in Life

I love this! Wise words to live by. Life is TOO short! 

Day 8.

Today should be day 8 of a great weight loss program, but instead I just find it to be another day, eating not so healthy.

I do great at breakfast and lunch. But once the evening comes, I struggle.

I know its because I'm not fully prepared. If I had fruits and veggies ready to go I'd be set. I'm being lazy for some reason.

I want to share my "before, before". Me at my heaviest:

That was in 2007 and I weighed roughly 208-210. I stand only 5'3".

Fast forward to last year, I'd managed to lose a few pounds over the years. So next is my before and after following a great program.

But like always, comfortable or stressed. I don't really know. I gained it all back. This year is dedicated on figuring it all out.  I have to break this cycle for so many reasons. 

Tips anyone? I can lose the weight. But why can't I keep it off?

My husband....

I love my husband.

My husband and my daughter. She's 7 now, but was only 4 in the picture.

He's an amazing martial artist. He's a 4th Degree Black Belt in American Kenpo and a 3rd Degree in Kyusho Jitsu. He still has lots to learn, but what makes him amazing is that I truly believe he upholds what a true black belt is. He's not cocky or flashy. He's humble and has such a passion for teaching.

Here's a short clip of some Small Circle Jiu Jitsu wrist locks.

Scary News

A woman in our area went missing at about 2am January 1st.

On January 2nd, authorities found a body.

On January 3rd, authorities confirmed it was the miss woman.

On January 4th, authorities announced first degree murder charges have been laid about a man and a woman.

Breaking News


This is scary. I hate that this has happened. I will never understand the cruel people of our world.

Her poor family.

RIP Noelle. I didn't know you, but the outpouring of love that has been shown on social media shows that you were an Angel on earth.


Prayers For Noelle Marie Paquette

Healthy Wage

While on Google+ today I seen this come through the feed:

Weight-loss wager: Couple loses 120 pounds, gains $6,000.

Read more on today.com

Boy did that peak my interest.

I'm a professional dieter. I can lose weight easily (sadly I haven't mastered keeping it off).

So the website that is offering the cold, hard, cash is Healthy Wage.

I haven't had much time to look it over as of yet and find out the criteria, but this could be a good thing I think. A motivator.

What's your input? Has anyone heard of this before?

Quitting time

It's amazing how easy it is to convince yourself to quit something the moment things start to get tough. I will admit I like things to be easy. I can get easily scared. I have to blame my insecurity for that. But my confidence is what I know I really need to work on this year. No more walking with my head down.

Hello 2013

So today started with my mentally preparing myself for the new year and new changes that are to come. The thing about being a yoyo dieter is you know what works. I can lose weight easily. My struggles come with keeping it off, over calorie consumption and the self hate that comes with cheating with food.

So my breakfast consisted of my fav protein shake.
-1 cup of coconut milk
-1 cup of frozen mangos
-1 tbs of coconut oil
-1 scoop of It Works Vanilla Profit
This shake literally comes out like ice cream so I eat it with a spoon and its filling. I also had my vitamins, thermogenic boost and Greens.

I've also weighed my self in at 165.5 (I was 137 in May). I'm attaching my measurements in a photo for now.

I also started a squat-a-thon. I will make a post about that in a day or 2. Today just consisted of 20 squats.

Just an average day.