We live in a vast world that allows us to parent in many ways. You may parent the way you were brought up. Either by habit, love for the way you were parented or maybe you're doing the complete opposite of what your parents did with you.
As long as your children are first safe and second happy, I think you're doing the right thing!
Our family (my husband, our children and I) live a very old school lifestyle. We've adopted the "stereotypical" rolls of dad goes off to work and mom stays home with the children. Some days are tough, but it works for us. We don't judge other families that require both parents to work and we hope that we're not judge either. You have to do what makes your heart happy while at the same time making sure everyone is taken care of. Life (financially) could be easier with us both working but we'd rather struggle a bit to always have someone home with the kids. That's one of our sacrifices.
This past weekend we traveled to a neighboring city about 100km away to attend a karate seminar. My husband and my daughter were both taking this seminar. Emmett was going to stay with my mom for the night as it takes a bit of the stress off of us to travel tantrum free. But, when Emmett woke up on Friday he was unable to keep anything down. Not even water. I'm calling it the "mystery illness" as he had zero symptoms of anything. Between the vomiting he was in high spirits and bouncing off of the walls. We made the decision to bring him with us, in case he continued to be sick into the night. Added stress on us is better than him being stressed and sick with us away. But of course, he was perfectly fine once we go there.
It is very rare that we leave our children with anyone, and really it's only my parents. We don't go out much without them. We have many good reasons for this. We're older and our social life now revolves around our children. I'd rather spend time with them making sure they are happy and mostly safe. I hate that we now have access to read all about teenagers drinking and partying status' that they post onto Facebook. This shows me that there's really no one good enough in my books to watch my children. I do hope that one day I can find that responsible youth. I have my eyes on a few, but time will tell and we're certainly not hurting by staying in. Another sacrifice?
After writing this, now maybe they aren't really sacrifices and just duties of being a parent. What have you sacrificed? Does sanity count?
Hope he's all better now. I have found now that I'm a mom Friday's don't mean anything anymore...
ReplyDeleteHe got better and then sick again. Mystery illness is no fun. Friday's a total scramble around here.
DeleteGreat post! I agree that there is no exclusively right or wrong way to raise kids, only choices. It is only a sacrifice in my mind if what you choose doesn't make you happy. I chose to give up a career as a lawyer but it isn't a sacrifice because I am happier raising my kids rather than solving other peoples' problems. To use an economic phrase, its an opportunity cost. But I would choose the same every time.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever think about what you'll do once they get older?
DeleteGood Thoughts! Somehow those sacrifices are something to be recognized. But it does seem worth it for the loved ones. This time with your kids is so valuable.
ReplyDeleteAnd so short. They grow way to fast.
DeleteAfter living a similar lifestyle with the kids' dad, I have vowed now that staying at home is a sacrifice I'll never make again. Getting out of a bad relationship with only "parenting skills" to go on my resume was definitely not a good sacrifice for me. To stay home dependent on another is something I've decided I can't do. I'd say the only thing in my parenting life now that I would really see as a sacrifice is staying in a lot more than I used to, but with me working full time and the kids in school full time - the weekends are great for us to just enjoy each other and to catch up as a family on the household chores. We all have our roles, and they have some as well, in maintaining an incredibly hectic life.
ReplyDeleteBut really, I'd say that these things you posted, and others, and myself? They aren't sacrifices so much as they are simple choices. We all make the choices we need to make in order to live a life that falls in line with our beliefs and priorities. Calling them 'sacrifices' in my mind makes it feel almost martyr-like, and I don't think anyone needs to feel that way about their life choices. I've chosen to parent a little "against the grain" and I definitely get a lot of kick-back on that choice but I don't for a second regret the choice to raise my kids in a way that I feel suits me as a person - because I'm more than a parent or a romantic partner to other people, I'm a whole being and if my parenting and marital lifestyles don't suit me as a person and make me feel like I'm still me, then the choices aren't worth it. Y'know?
This was a great post, I read your blog a lot - and usually in a rush so I don't take the time to comment. But I've thought a few times about this one in particular. Figured I'd stop by again and let you know my thoughts.
Great comment!! I think the reason why it was easier to make the choice of staying at home is because of age. Had I had children 10 years ago, I'm sure my choices would be different. 38 years old with a 2.5 year old. I don't think I'd have the energy to work outside of the house lol. But once Emmett is in school, that's going to give me the opportunity to possible finish school that I started while being pregnant and into his first year. My high fear of someone watching my kids and harming them, really drives me to be around all the time. Yes it's a decision based on something in my past, but it truly gives me peace of mind.
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