Monday, 11 March 2013

Parents Do You React or Respond?

I just read a fantastic article. 
Parents Do You React or Respond? It Makes a Difference! 
While parenting our children it is important to consider the effects of the way in which we choose to relate to them. 
Do you 'react' or 'respond'?
The one you choose will make a difference in how your relationship with them evolves.
I react almost all the time. I can make some excuse as to why. When I'm busy, that's when Kaylee needs me the most. So if I'm on the phone and distracted, she'll ask me something and my immediate reaction is NO! Pretty rotten I know, but I bet I'm not the only one.  I work from home and I'm sure most customers would understand if I had to say "can you please hold for a moment?" Yet I put them first. Big mistake!

In situations of being interrupted and reacting I'm at fault for both. It's my fault of how I reacted and it's also my fault for Kaylee's interruption, because somewhere down the line, I failed to drill into her good manners. I have failed to remind her she needs to be patient. And really, how can an impatient person like myself even teach patience? 

There are two very important considerations to be made when communicating with your children, regardless of their age or the topic of conversation.
The first is to always allow them to speak without interruption. 
The second is to not share your thoughts and feelings until you are ready to do so without emotion 
Wow, that's an eyeopener. I fail at both of those important things. I guess most of the time I'm just so high strung and not taking the time I need to communicate properly. I don't want to be my children's best friend, but I have to make sure that they know they can talk to me about anything and if I don't make some changes FAST, they will never come to be with anything. 

So looks like some new things for my 2013 list. Patience. And taking the time to communicate with my children properly.  

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